This teaching is a follow-up to the previous teaching on “Identifying Manipulation.” In the previous teaching, we went over the 7 vulnerabilities of the human heart. These vulnerabilities had to do with buttons manipulators can push to get us to do things we don’t always want to do.
This blog is about the 9 Manipulative people types. Think about it – human nature has developed in each of us. Blind spots evolve in our upbringing, lifestyle, untrained relationship skills, our weaknesses, our strengths, and our thought patterns. These blind spots are not always healthy. These blind spots can absolutely be manipulative ways in how we relate to others.
This teaching is not meant to mess you up by making you insecure – but it is meant to shine a light in your heart, and also to help you in certain stressful relationships in your life which could be manipulative.
When I, Cesar, began to develop this teaching, it began to open my eyes to many issues in the body of Christ; where people become Christians – but they bring in to the Kingdom their own ways of functioning in relationships. When God tells us in his word in 1st Corinthians 13 – Love is the way.
Love never manipulates. Love is a different way of functioning. In our pursuit of developing a Grace Culture, I want us to learn to love on a whole new level. This means undoing our insecurities, and dismantling our ways of manipulation. This is the truest, purest, in the most life-giving way of following Christ and being His disciple: which is to learn not to manipulate others or even yourself as you fulfill your destiny.
As you go over these people types – open your heart, be honest with yourself, and allow God to reveal to you a new side of who you are. Jesus is our Answer. Jesus is our Model. In Jesus is doing a good work in you. He will help you with this if you allow Him to.
When I created these 9 metaphors, I created them to be visual and concrete concepts you can meditate upon. Some of them have strong negative connotations, on purpose. They are supposed to be negative to help inform us of how that manipulator functions.
9 Manipulative People Types
1. Iron Fist - ruthless dominance
- No morals, lies, cheat, steals, etc… Have no integrity, and will run over people and not care about it. The obvious lack of character makes this person very dangerous and destructive, especially to those who are tender hearted and want to do what’s right. They use absolute deception to get their way, with very little consideration of outcomes or feelings of others. They devise plans and potential outcomes with no intentions of really ever fulfilling their commitment. They will betray with no problem.
2. Balloon - entitlement
- Inflated sense of self-worth, value, and purpose. It will only hang out with certain types of people because they think they are incredibly special. They make demands and requests which are unreasonable but justified in their mind. They will speak out of their own devised world of expectations. They build up their own view of themselves in fantasy and expect everyone else around them to treat them accordingly. They lash out with vicious threats and guilt trips of someone does not treat them as they desire. They will also sulk, act wounded, wine, and draw on the sympathy of others.
3. Doormat - low self-esteem
- Emotionally unstable, moody, depressed. View themselves as doormat sub consciously. Blame others for their failure. Complex self-image problems. They view themselves as entirely incapable; therefore when others expect something out of them, they will fight the whole way. They view themselves as victims of others’ mistakes and outcomes. They have discovered how to survive by having others feel sorry for them and always have to watch what they say for fear of hurting their feelings. This person very rarely has healthy relationships with friends outside of family.
4. Tick - chooses failure
- Depends on others, indecisive, needy, won’t grow up, attach themselves to those who help them, with guilt trips. May even threaten others. Use ultimatums to manipulate. These individuals will usually struggle with depression, self-esteem, self-worth, and know it. They have, although, discovered how to suck life from others and never ultimately take steps forward. They use guilt upon those who hold them accountable. They will also threaten using fear of loss.
5. Mask - dramatic and seductive
- Emotionally expressive, can be seductive, etc… Have to be the center of attention and use their sexuality to manipulate. They can use charm and entrap others by mentally pulling them to do what they want. They will also use emotional blackmail to scare others and intimidate with threats. They operate in borderline witchcraft through the control they exude.
6. Dead Weight - passive aggressive
- Punishes by accusing others, controls through sulking. Demonizes others with false accusations in order to manipulate, when they are the ones causing the situation. They quit functioning in their relationship in order to manipulate and punish. Very deceitful. Silent treatment, and won’t open up. Excuses about trust and weariness will arise. This person can also deceive multiple people altogether by drawing from the sympathy of well meaning hearts.
7. Boiling Pot - pushy achiever
- High energy, can threaten, over extend others, insensitive to others, very demanding, and manipulate the intimidation. They manipulate through many of their blind spots. They don’t really stop to discuss the feelings of others or consider the perspective of others. They see themselves as mighty leaders and plow forward at all costs. They can be passionate about tasks and not see how they make others operate under guilt, fear, and insecurity.
8. Snake - con and deceiver
- Liar, possible criminal background, will steal. Struggle with sense of identity therefore have created a false one to impress and manipulate others. Needy for a sense of self-worth. This person will use promises and sell ideas to others in order to get what they want. They struggle with clarity on who they are, because they have created so much of who they are using the power of fantasy.
9. Buzzard - addiction is first
- Goal oriented on getting fix at all costs, and will do anything to anyone the matter who they are, including loved ones. They are emotionally addicted, and would deceive anyone